no surprise


if at some point in the futureyou visit as I'm laid to restplease don't act surprisedwhen you seen I was a messi swallowed the lonelinessI choked on most my tearsyou would never know I struggledwith happiness for many yearsbut eventually it got harderto pretend I was okaymy tears flowed so freelyno smile would ever stay.i … Continue reading no surprise →

My Expectations and How They Weren’t Met


You don’t seem to give a shit that I am going through it. Not only am I spending another god damn holiday without my family, my boyfriend doesn't want to spend time with me. You been making an effort to be a better man. But that better man is just as selfish as before. I … Continue reading My Expectations and How They Weren’t Met →

Forever Not Good Enough.


One day I'll be worthy enough to spend an entire day with him. Until then, he will continue to choose bicycles, tools, and whatever else is available to pick over spending any time with me. Unfortunately, the only time he doesn't look like he wants to shoot himself in the head, is when we are … Continue reading Forever Not Good Enough. →

Sneaky Hoe


From the outside looking in I can understand why most think I am 100 clueless about EVERYTHING. Because most of the time I am. Let me tell you that the times where I notice the little things that people assume went right over my head, I wish I hadn't noticed. My mind takes whatever it … Continue reading Sneaky Hoe →

Are you a Sneaky Foe?


I hate it when you're at someone's place and they lose something pretty significant. Everyone that considers you a friend knows that the only thing you would snag without asking first is a few french fries off your plate when you left the room. And even then, as soon as you walked in you'd confess … Continue reading Are you a Sneaky Foe? →

Worries


I'm worried all your feels have changed That I'm merely around until the next option comes to light I'm afraid you're hiding things from me. You have privacy with your phone but I can't write anything down without you reading it. It bothers me he was surprised I used the term boyfriend referring to you. … Continue reading Worries →

12/11/18 IN LOVE WITH PAIN


I fell in love with pain Its almost like I enjoy it Disguised as hopes and dreams Get all caught up, then can't even split Won't let this shit happen again Put in the effort for the unworthy Give mind body and soul Just to beg for mercy That feeling of being wanted Feeling your … Continue reading 12/11/18 IN LOVE WITH PAIN →