From the outside looking in I can understand why most think I am 100 clueless about EVERYTHING. Because most of the time I am.
Let me tell you that the times where I notice the little things that people assume went right over my head, I wish I hadn’t noticed. My mind takes whatever it was and has a field day. Every possible reason or connection I think of. Good. Bad. Sad. Mean. Doesn’t matter.
Instead of coming right out and ask what’s up to avoid heartache or fight or just chaos in my head in general, I just make them think it went over my head then I continue to obsess over it for the next few hours or sometimes until I finally bring it up. 9 times out of 10, I over reacted or I misunderstood something or whatever. I am almost always wrong and stressed for no raisins. That being said.
Earlier at the party I noticed while he and I were sitting at the table, he sat back and brought it phone closer to his chest as though he was trying to keep his screen out of my view. I saw him catch me look down and he AGAIN pulled it out of my view. So obviously he was hiding something. I am not normally a nosey person. In fact, I wholeheartedly believe every one has a right to privacy. But since I’ve been getting vibes from him that make me think he is finished thinking he wants to be with me; I have this feeling he is talking to someone else. I mean, it could just be innocent chitchat but since he is hiding it from me… Its an issue. I mean… I hid going out to the bar with Alex from my husband and I’ve been told that that was considered cheating.
Is this the same?
Am I crazy?
Should I say something?
I hate my mind. I feel like it tries to fuck up my life.
Consistent Disappointment 